(via 11 Ways To Be Happier)

As we enter into the swing of a bright new year full of potential, many of us are busy setting up new plans and ideas for the coming months.

Setting goals and intentions has a powerful impact on what we can achieve. The process of making new choices, brave decisions, choosing new habits and visioning ideas is the strongest way to kick start changes in our lives. As Einstein said, ‘Imagination is the preview of tomorrow’s forthcoming attractions.’ Whatever we imagine, we are powering into existence.

Here are some great techniques for bringing in positive change and creating transformations at any time in your life.

Susie Pearl is the author of the new book Instructions for Happiness and Success: A Step-by-Step Mind Manual for Creating the Life You Choose.

1. Use your inner GPS and let your intuition guide you

We all have a GPS built-in to our inner systems. Few of us use it to full effect yet it is one of the most powerful and accurate information feedback loops available. Our intuition gives us information through ‘hunches’ and feelings – positive or negative – and guides us more accurately than logic and more conscious-based thinking processes. Many of the most successful business people and creatives use intuition above anything else to make good decisions and flow the best ideas. Follow the good feelings – these should be our guide.

When using our inner GPS, it’s important to know where we want to go, in order to get there. Setting specific goals and clear intentions is key.

Research shows it’s important that we believe we can achieve the goals – it’s with a strong and positive belief system the chances of our happiness and success will skyrocket.

2. Spend closer time with friends and family

Research studies on the elderly and the dying show that the biggest regrets that people have at the end of their lives is to do with how little time they have spent with their loved ones, family and closest friends. It’s investing in these friendships, building love, quality time and great memories that really affect how happy our lives have been. The studies show that happiness has little to do with material artifacts of life. It’s the relationships that count, when we look back at how well we’ve lived our life. Happiness comes from within and is based on the love we feel for ourselves and for others.

3. Pay yourself first

Many people struggle with finances and money. Make a plan to pay yourself at least 10% of your income every time you get paid and put this into a savings account. Then pay everyone else. It helps to segment your money into categories and allocate accordingly so that you feel in greater control and have money allocated for different activities – funding adventures as well as bills. Getting well organized in spending habits helps to grow your money.

4. Plan to do something out of your comfort zone

It’s the things that make us stretch our minds and bodies that add happiness. Planning to do things that are away from the usual adds zest and adventure to life. The things that give us a thrill and make us excited are often the things most worth living for.

5. Give and receive in balance

Research shows that a big component in measurements of happiness is about giving and helping others. When we give and make other people happy, it has a powerful effect on our own levels of happiness. It’s important to be balanced – equal measures of giving and receiving is best. Many people appear to do one much more than the other, which can lead to feelings of imbalance.

6. Declutter your space

Our outer environment appears to reflect our inner environment very closely. An effective strategy to keeping your life in order requires keeping your environment clean and orderly too. The outside of life so often a mirror to how we feel on the inside. In many cases, those with chaotic spaces in their offices/homes/cars, have the same going on inside their heads. Having a clean up and de-clutter does wonders for feeling positive and in control of life.

7. Reduce the stress points from your life

We all have stress points. Take a step back and examine what yours are and put in some steps to resolve the one’s that you can modify. For example, cut out unhealthy habits, over doing alcohol, identify and reduce toxic friends, cut out sugary food that zaps your energy and so on. Make some changes around the things that stress you and make things easier on yourself.

8. Have more fun and live every day like it matters

Being more present, laughing more, making sure there’s fun in every day – that’s a recipe for feeling that life is for living. How we spend each day adds up to how we spend our life. So lighten up, live it up and make decisions like every day matters.

9. Mind focus

One of the most powerful things we can do to change our lives more positively is to think more positive thoughts. Be aware of the quality of what you are thinking about. It’s our thoughts that influence our emotions. Both have an incredibly powerful effect on the quality of our inner life and ultimately our happiness. By taking more care to think in the positive, and spend less time in a negative position, we can sculpt ourselves into creating better and more harmonious inner states. This in turn will power up our life for the better. Think about what you DO want. Stop talking about what you don’t want.

10. Body focus

We only get one body. The research on success and happiness shows that a healthy body and healthy mind do go together. Many of the world’s top entrepreneurs say to anyone wanting success that the first rule is ‘train your body’. Good advice. Health and happiness for the mind requires health in the body. Make sure that you dedicate some time each day to keeping your body healthy and flexible. Meditation and mindfulness practice has powerful effects on keeping the body healthy.

11. Soul focus

When we connect to a bigger part of us, we can tune into an infinite supply of resources. Get powered up by being in nature, walking in the wild, listening to birds sing, meditating, singing, dancing or praying. Whatever you do to nourish your soul, give it daily space and make it part of the essentials for living. Connect to your soul and grow your happiness and success more deeply.Happiness is an inside job. The route to get there is from inside out.

Credits to huffingtonpost

(via 10 Amazing Things You Didn’t Know Your iPhone Could Do)

(via Why He Keeps You Waiting By The Phone & How To Handle It)

(via 6 Signs Your Marriage Will End In Divorce)

Is your marriage on the fast track to divorce? Find out!

Maintaining a marriage requires intentionality. Just like other relationships, if your marriage doesn’t receive the necessary time and attention, it will deteriorate.

Couples tend to enter marriages with great expectations, bringing both their own histories of hurt and unmet needs. The unspoken expectation that your partner will finally love you the way you desire to be loved is often a setup for failure.

Apathy and contempt in a marriage are warning signs that your marriage needs your attention, and the number one predictor ofdivorce is conflict avoidance. So, if you and your partner avoid conflict and lack the skills of conflict resolution, your marriage may be in jeopardy.

Dr. John Gottman, marriage & family therapist and leading researcher on marriage, has conducted studies over the span of 40 years to determine the predictors of divorce. His studies showed that these six characteristics of communication predict the likelihood of divorce with 91% accuracy.

If the dynamics in your marriage fit these patterns, your chance of divorce is great:

1. Harsh start-ups. Approaching a conversation or conflict with sarcasm, accusations, criticism or derogatory comments is dangerous for a marriage. Initiating a conversation harshly, will likely result in an acrimonious ending without resolution.

2. The four horsemen. Gottman identifies these as contempt, criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling. His research shows a correlation between these characteristics of communication with your spouse drastically increase likelihood to divorce.

3. Flooding. You and/or your spouse overwhelm each other with negativity that causes an emotional shut-down and detachment from your relationship. When you or your partner suddenly barrages the other with criticism or contempt, leaving the other feeling shell shocked, this results in disengagement and often, over time, leads to contempt.

4. Body language. When one or both partners become overwhelmed and flooded, it results in physiological changes in the body. Increased heart rate, a secretion of adrenaline and an increase in blood pressure occur and these physiological responses preclude the ability to effectively resolve conflict. Flooding triggers a fight or flight response, resulting in disengagement and/or stonewalling by your partner.

5. Failed attempts to repair. If conflict is not resolved or stonewalled by one partner, the likelihood of divorce increases. Conflict resolution is imperative in maintaining a healthy relationship. Stonewalling is the lack of willingness to engage in conversation and resolution around a conflict.

Credits to yourtango

(via 5 Things Women Need to Do to Keep Men Happy)

Men always talk about what women can do to please them. We make it simple yet we have a laundry list of demands. Women say we are simple, and at times they are correct, but there’s a rhyme and reason to the things we demand. So I decided to list a few ways in which women can keep us happy. Check it out:

Feed Us

The old adage “The way to a man’s heart is throuhg his stomach” is 100% accurate. Men love food. I’m pretty sure it’s a basic function of the male composition, but don’t quote me on that. A woman who can cook is a treasure to a man. No dude wants to be eating ramen noodles and struggle butter sandwiches with cheese forever! Food should be made with love. We remember the home cooked meals our Moms(and Dads too) cooked, so we want to refresh those memories with every bite. This doesn’t just extend to preparing meals either. Knowing our tastes, our favorite foods and eateries, and when to experiment or not goes a long way in having a man appreciate you.

Know When to Fold ‘Em

We all have different stresses in our lives. And though men and women’s stress types are different, we sometimes forget that we can’t always understand the other side. There are some things men don’t understand about women’s struggle and vice versa. Ladies, what we ask of you is to know which battles to choose. Many men, wish death upon me would rather tune out frivilous nagging, and in turn might overlook the real important issue you have with them. Every battle can’t be won, but the important ones to you are attainable if you just chill with some of the nitpicking.

Look Like Who You Was ‘Fore We Got Here

There’s no greater tragedy in a world than a woman who shuts down her sex appeal like a first place team coasting to the playoffs. I’m not saying you have to be runway model fly 24/7, but when we are used to a certain standard and there’s a dropoff in quality of appearance afterwards, its disappointing. To clarify, if you dressed up for special occasions, always looked done-up when you went out, and now its #AllSweatsEverything, we will notice and it’s disappointing. I also hate when women let themselves go, as if “I got a man and I don’t need to upkeep anymore” is the way of the future. Trust, if you check my ebook out, you’ll read that I demand the SAME of men also! Let’s look good and present ourselves well together and stay on point!

Eff Us..With Enthusiasm

Allow me to state the obvious: Men love sex. This is no illuminati secret or anything. I’m sure there are studies that sex leads to a happier home, and if there isn’t, there needs to be! Seriously, we like to be pleased in all aspects of physical expressions of love. Sometimes, after a hard day, we don’t want to discuss life, or think about responsibilities. We just want a steak and some head! Sometimes we want to make love and sometimes we want to slut you out. Time and place for everything and the woman who deciphers her man in this regard is a national trasure.

The Fifth One Is on You!

This one I’ll leave up to you to decide. Men and women alike, do you have a point to provide. Let us know!

Ladies, I got you next week with “5 things men need to do to keep women happy” and yes I will go in! In fact, ladies, go to the SBM Facebook page and our Twitter and let us know some things men can do to keep you happy, and I’ll use those and my own.

Credits to singleblackmale

9 Life Lessons You Learn by 30

A proper quarterlife crisis involves a certain amount of disillusionment, ennui, boredom, fear, anxiety, and growing pains. But those terrifying sounding emotions are the ones that get all the press—how about giving that “growing” some props for once?

Sure you’re in that weird nebulous post-adolescent pre-total-grownuphood other-space of life where you don’t quite have it together (or at least don’t feel like you do), but if you take a hard look at your life, there are at least a few things that you’ve probably figured out by now.

You Know What Friendship Is

In high school or college, friendship was mostly a matter of geography—who you had classes with or who lived down the hall or joined the same club. Out in the real world for a while, you’ve learned that real friendship is made of tougher and—and dare we say it—better stuff. (Although just wait until you’re in your thirties and everyone’s getting married and having kids…that’s when the real test comes.)

Dating “Bad Boys” Just Isn’t Worth It

All those hours you fretted about your major and wondering if it was marketable enough, if your GPA was high enough, and if your extracurriculars were impressive enough…and now you know that most employers just want to see that you’ve completed something. Who cares if it’s a degree in drama or basket-weaving or P.E.? Nobody cares about the particulars of what you did in college, only that you went and finished.

Jagermeister Tastes Awful

It’s a fact. You’ll wonder how you ever could have ingested that inky black licorice swill voluntarily.

Sunscreen Is Important

Right around age twenty-five, you start to be able to tell who wears sunscreen and who’s a sun-worshipper—the sunscreeners still have dewy, youthful skin, while the tanners have the beginnings of crows-feet and brown spots. Which group do you want to be in?

You Don’t Know Everything

Ever heard that saying, “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.” College makes you feel like you’ve got it all figured out, and that blinds you to the truth—which is that you know so little, you can’t even comprehend how little you know. Luckily, the real world is quite handy at disabusing you of the notion that you’re a twenty-two-year-old font of wisdom. At work, in relationships… the more experience you get, the more you realize how much more you still have to learn. This never stops

You Can’t Pull Off Every Trend

Skinny jeans, thigh-high boots, hippie headbands, crop tops—you can’t win ‘em all. You’ve learned which ones work and that it’s okay to abstain from the ones that don’t.

Living with Five Roommates Is Terrible

It isn’t one totally awesome continuous bohemian girl-power slumber party estrofest. It’s just a pain in the ass. You’ve resolved that you’ll share your next apartment with only one other roommate and one dishwasher.

Your Degree is Meaningless

All those hours you fretted about your major and wondering if it was marketable enough, if your GPA was high enough, and if your extracurriculars were impressive enough…and now you know that most employers just want to see that you’ve completed something. Who cares if it’s a degree in drama or basket-weaving or P.E.? Nobody cares about the particulars of what you did in college, only that you went and finished.

Everyone Compromises

So you thought you’d be the lone she-wolf individualist who forged her own trail and never lowered her standards? You thought you’d ride the powerful wave of your idealism into a job where you’d change the world and find glory, all while carving out a perfect family life, because surely those older women and their talks of “work-life balance” didn’t apply to you. You were different, you were better. Or so you thought.

Sometimes you have to take a job because you need health insurance. Sometimes you make the sensible, safe decision instead of the one that you’re passionate about. Sometimes you make allowances in your righteous ideology to account for the fact that quite often, life is just about getting through the day. Congratulations—you’re human.

Credits to divinecaroline

Check out Whisper, The Best App for Sharing Secrets!

Do you have a secret? If you’ve got a piece of information that you really need to share, you’ve got to check out Whisper. It’s a mobile app and website designed to let you anonymously spill all. It’s similar to Postsecret.com, but it’s completely mobile. You can share your secrets with an online community in real time, and even get replies. Sound good so far? Browse secrets at Whisper online, or download the iPhone App to upload your own!

The best part about Whisper is that it’s not just a place to vent, but it’s designed to be a complete online community. When you post a Whisper, people can reply with similar worries, advice, and support. The community is designed to allow you to express yourself, but posts are monitored for offensive content to make sure that the community stays safe and cohesive. The ability to reply is what makes Whisper so unique – it’s not just about secrets, but it’s a space for people to talk to each other and have engaging dialogues around just about any topic. From support for everyday worries to life changing advice, Whisper has it all!

Whisper has grown into a real online community, and it’s even sparked some real communities to engage around the App. Check out the Facebook page that Whisper users at UCLA set up, where they post Whispers from around campus. From secrets like “I use my roommate’s toothbrush” to “I’m in love with my dormmate,” it has become a space for people to connect, vent, and share.

We at HC aren’t the only ones who love Whisper – check out what The Huffington Post had to say about the app! Or, better yet, check it out for yourself. See selected Whispers on the Whisper Blog, check out a live stream of current Whispers, or just download the App to get started Whispering right away!

Credits to hercampus

Tips To Choose Hairstyle For Your Wedding Dress

We know how you feel. You’ve probably been thinking about your wedding hairstyle since the day you got engaged! I know that although I’ve felt pretty set on what I want, all the pretty new hairstyles I’ve seen online have swayed me from time to time. If you aren’t sure where to begin on choosing your wedding hairstyle, think about it like any other hairstyle you would get and match it to your wedding dress! It’s a great cue on how you should do your hair for your big day.

The Backless Dress

Pinterest via ireneekins via stylemepretty

Backless wedding dresses are a huge trend this year, and we can’t resist them! If you’re showing off your back, make sure you show off your back. That means an updo or side hairstyle like a pretty chignon would work best. If you aren’t sure you want something with a formal feel but still want to show off your back, take a look at the side and updo hairstyles that incorporate braids. They lend an overall softer feel to the look.

The Boho or Beach Dress

Pinterest via Ashley Gaa via Anna McPherson

Long waves and braids are great hairstyles if your wedding dress is a little bit more on the boho side or if you’re having a beach wedding. You can also experiment with some pretty bridal hair accessories like flowers, headbands and even the new feather hair pieces. If you have shorter hair that can’t be braided or worn in a longer hairstyle, you can always try clip-in hair extensions or a short hairstyle with a soft look. No matter what you choose, the key is to make sure you hairdo isn’t too formal and fussy.

The Glamorous Dress

Pinterest via Pascale De Groof via Victoria Rudenko

When it comes to a glamorous wedding dress, the wedding hairstyle you choose is almost limitless. Whether you choose to embrace the glamour with a gorgeous updo and tiara or play the contrast game by going with a more natural hairstyle, almost anything goes. Sophisticated hairdos and natural looks are best, but you’ll want to stray away from trendy dos like braids, which are better left for boho and beachy brides.

The Understated Dress

Pinterest via MM pinned this via hairandmakeupbysteph

If your dress is simple, sophisticated and elegant, you can play up the drama with your hair. For down hairstyles, that means lots of volume and for updos, that means pretty bridal hair accessories and glamorous styles that incorporate lots of curls.

Believe it or not, your wedding venue can play a large role in your bridal hairstyle decisions too.

Credits to latest hairstyles

(via 3 Tastefully wicked anti-Valentine’s Day party ideas)

If you’re newly (or not-so-newly) single, Valentine’s Day can be a real bummer. We know you don’t fault your coupled-up friends for finding Mr. Right (OK, maybe you do a little), but we also know this: You don’t need to spend the day sulking on the couch watching rom-coms and crying into a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

So throw an anti-Valentine’s Day party to celebrate being single and loving it! There’s just one ground rule. This party is about celebrating loving ourselves enough to know single is OK. No pity partiers allowed!

The “life-enhancement” party

This one’s for the ladies only (sorry, boys!). Single or not, we all need a little… ahem… recreation now and again. As any hobby enthusiast will say, you need the right tools for the job. Instead of getting tipsy and lamenting about love gone wrong, or worse, pretending you think male strippers are a good idea, throw a pleasure party for you and your best single gal pals.

Other than the cost of the items you want to buy, the party itself is usually free. Just make sure you tell the party coordinator that the party is for singles only so she doesn’t waste time talking about intimate products for couples.

You’ll laugh, you’ll learn and you’ll love focusing on what you (really) want

Tip: Ask the party coordinator to bring plenty of contact cards. Some of your friends may be uncomfortable ordering this type of life enhancement in front of others.

The Texas M.A.S.H. ‘em party

This adult variation on a popular tween game relies on the game of Texas Hold ‘em, though any poker game will do. While our game can be modified for various categories, we suggest keeping it a bit spicy.

You’ll need a large piece of poster board and pictures of various celebrities of the appropriate gender (depending on your invitees’ preferences). You’ll need enough pictures for each category for the number of guests on your list. For example, if you have five guests, you’ll need five pictures under M, five under A, and so on. Make sure each celebrity’s best “assets” are shown in their best light.

In our version, the acronym stands for Marry–Avoid (because he’s a stalker)–Shag–Hug. Tape the required number of celeb photos in each category. After each hand of Texas Hold ‘em (in which there are no chips, no one is allowed to fold and jokers are wild), each guest gets to choose from the categories (one per hand, starting with M and moving along from there for a total of four hands) in the order of highest hand to lowest.

Guests with jokers may choose to use the joker as a wild card and take their chances with another draw, or save it for a steal at the end of the game. In the end, each partygoer will have a brand new (and likely more exciting) romantic history.

You can play all night by having extra game boards featuring different celebrities, or spend the rest of the night creating wild stories about your misadventures with the new men in your Little Black Book.

Seductively spo-o-o-o-oky party

While St. Valentine was sainted for his commitment to love so strong he’d marry couples who were forbidden to take the vows, he met a rather grisly end when he was beheaded for his betrayal. Pay tribute to his commitment by throwing a Halloween-style costume party for singles only (this time, the boys are invited… as long as they’re not attached).

Skip the crazier Halloween decor extras and opt for a dimly lit local spot with raging music (nothing too romantic) and flashing lights. There should be plenty of room for dancing, and it should be at a place that’s not too loud, so you can mingle. You’re more likely to meet the man of your dreams when you’re celebrating being single, because he knows you’re a girl who’s awesome enough on her own.

Gals should wear their sexiest, sassiest or most adorable personas (devils, angels and everything in between), while the men should be asked to don a costume that truly conveys their romantic personality. No zombies or blood, just a lot of people in fanciful costumes that make them look great.

Valentine’s Day is what you make it
Valentine’s Day is just another day of the year. Couples use it to do the things they should be doing all year long. Why should your night be any different?

Credits to sheknows

(via 12 Signs Your Falling In Love)

1. You’ll read his/her texts over and over again…
2. You’ll walk really really slow while you’re with him/her…
3. You’ll pretend 2 be shy whenever you’re with him/her…
4. While thinking bout him/her…your heart will beat faster and faster…
5. By listening to his/her voice…you’ll smile for no reason.
6. While looking at him/her..you cant see the other people around you…you can only see that person…
7. You’ll start listening to SLOW songs.
8. He/She becomes all you think about
9. You’ll get high just by their smell…
10. You’ll realize that you’re always smiling to yourself when you think about them..
11. You’ll do anything for him/her…
12. While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time…..

By a chain letter

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